There are plenty of ways to turn people off. Most of them don’t require much effort.
All it takes is one look at your social-media activity or a casual in-person introduction to make someone realize they just don’t want to spend time with you.
We’ve rounded up some of the most common social turn-offs online and in person, and how to avoid them. Read on and see which ones you’ve been guilty of.
SEE ALSO: 14 habits of the most likable people
1. Sharing too many photos on Facebook.
You might be eager to share snapshots of your honeymoon, cousin’s graduation, and dog dressed in a Halloween costume, all in the same day. But research has found that posting too many photos on Facebook can hurt your real-life relationships.
“This is because people, other than very close friends and relatives, don’t seem to relate well to those who constantly share photos of themselves,” lead study author David Houghton, PhD, said in a release.
Specifically, friends don’t like it when you’ve got too many photos of family, and relatives don’t like it when you’ve got too many photos of friends.
As Ben Marder, PhD, another author on the study, put it: “Be cautious when sharing and think how it will be perceived by all the others who may see it. Although sharing is a great way to better relationships, it can also damage them.”
2. Having too many, or too few, Facebook friends.
In one study, researchers asked college students to look at fictional Facebook profiles and decide how much they liked the profiles’ owners. The study took place in 2008, and the students had about 300 friends each.
Results showed that the “sweet spot” for likability was about 300 friends. Likability ratings were lowest when a profile owner had only about 100 friends, and almost as low when they had more than 300 friends.
As for why 300-plus friends could be a turn-off, the study authors write, “Individuals with too many friends may appear to be focusing too much on Facebook, friending out of desperation rather than popularity.”
On the other hand, the researchers acknowledge that if you look at a population where the most common number of Facebook friends is 1,000, the sweet spot for likability could be 1,000.
Keep in mind, though, that one survey found that the average number of Facebook friends among adult users was 338 in 2014.
Interestingly, the study also found that participants weren’t consciously aware that they liked people less when they had too many or too few Facebook friends.
3. Disclosing something extremely personal early on in a relationship.
In general, people like each other more after they’ve traded confidences. Self-disclosure is one of the best ways to make friends as an adult.
But psychologists say that disclosing something too intimate — say, that your sister is having an extramarital affair — while you’re still getting to know someone can make you seem insecure and decrease your likability.
The key is to get personal without getting overly personal. As one study led by Susan Sprecher at Illinois State University suggests, simply sharing details about your hobbies and your favorite childhood memories can make you seem warmer and more likable.
