A life of an entrepreneur’s wife or husband can be a lonely one. This doesn’t mean it will be, but there are certainly plenty of hurdles to overcome before finding that perfect balance between being a passionate worker and a passionate partner.
As many married entrepreneurs know, many times the business will come before all else. This can lead to an upheaval in the household. Bringing stress home, putting the family through consistent financial worry, and giving more time to the business than to their romantic partner are just some of the “joys” of being married to an entrepreneur.
Being married to an entrepreneur isn’t always fun and it isn’t always easy. Here are 8 reasons why it’s hard to be married to someone who works for themselves:
1. Money Becomes an Issue Fast
One of the worst parts about growing up is having to pay the bills. And when one spouse is an entrepreneur, paying the bills every month isn’t always a given. Money is a tricky issue in any relationship. One study published by an investing app, found that 68% of couples polled admitted they would rather reveal how much they weigh than talk about money with each other.
The study went on to reveal that 42% of those couples reported feeling depressed and anxious regarding their financial future. Being married to an entrepreneur can leave the other partner feeling drained and fraught with financial worry. It takes a lot of money to start a business as an entrepreneur especially if they choose to not rely on investors. This can make money a sore subject around the house.
2. Often Feels Like Living Alone
Being an entrepreneur doesn’t allow for a conventional 9-5 schedule. An entrepreneur may allow themselves to be on call at all times. This can lead to many consistent distractions. With the simple buzz of a cellphone, family time suddenly turns back into work. Partners may be left feeling frustrated with the amount of help they are getting in raising children or providing financially for the household.
3. Taking Risks Stops Being Charming
As previously mentioned, supporting a spouse as they take a dive into the terrifying world of entrepreneurship can be a challenge – to say the least! Being stripped of a regular, reliable paycheck can take away a certain level of security (and sanity) from the relationship.
What at first seemed like a spouse’s brave venture into the unknown has stopped seeming like a charming adventure. Instead, it starts to feel more like an anxious knot in the stomach that just won’t go away.
“Spouses should spend at least one full hour each day talking together about subjects that have nothing to do with their work or business. Children need at least ten minutes of face-to-face contact with their parents each day.” – Brian Tracy
4. Sharing Worries
Just because someone becomes an entrepreneur doesn’t mean they will become a successful entrepreneur. The worry of whether or not the business will fail can creep into an otherwise happy marriage.
On top of the non-entrepreneur’s everyday worries of raising children, working, and maintaining close relationships, the anxiety of their partner’s business can be overwhelming. Worrying about whether the business will take off and how the family will be affected until it does can send stress levels through the roof.
5. Putting Business Before Family
This is one area of married entrepreneurship that hurts the most. When married to an entrepreneur, one may often feel neglected or alone. It may feel like the entrepreneur is so enamored with starting their business that there is little time left for family or socializing with friends. And date night? Forget about it.
A spouse may understand why their partner devotes so much time and energy into building their business. However, it can be painful to realize their spouse may prioritize a business meeting or answering emails over anniversary dinners or their child’s school events.
6. Constant Arguments
In a study on why couples get divorces, conflict and arguing was one of the biggest reasons, right alongside extramarital affairs and growing apart. When one spouse is working an 80-hour work week and the other is feeling like they’re going it alone, it can lead to some intense arguments.
The more drained a partner is, the more irritable they become. One spouse believes they are doing all this work for their marriage, while the other believes the other is looking after their own interests.
Communication, they say, is the key to happiness in marriage. However, those who are married to an entrepreneur know that it can be difficult to communicate with someone who is always busy.
One of the biggest challenges for couples in a relationship with an entrepreneur is to have frequent and honest conversations about how the marriage is going. Couples need to be completely open with one another about what they need in order for the marriage to survive.
“The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends.” – B. R. Ambedkar
8. When True Colors Come Out to Play
Being married to an entrepreneur is the time when couples will see each other’s true colors. They will see each other at their best and worst, and one may often outshine the other. Anxiety, sexual frustrations, lack of emotional intimacy, money woes, and overall entrepreneur-related terror can truly test a couple’s comfort zone.
Studies show that partners who have sex regularly experience a surge of the “love hormone” oxytocin. This hormone is shown to relieve stress that can be common in entrepreneur relationships. It also acts as a mood elevator and bonds couples closer together.
If a marriage can survive married entrepreneurship, (and it can!) partners must learn to be patient with one another. They must spend time strengthening their emotional and physical connection on a weekly basis.
Being married to an entrepreneur comes with rich blessings and a host of potential problems. Mixing business with pleasure is no easy path for any married entrepreneurs to take. Money becomes a point of contention and work distractions may make one partner feel ignored. Having patience will strengthen a marriage during these trying times.