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Tony Robbins has coached some of the wealthiest people in the world, working with clients ranging from tennis legend Andre Agassi to President Bill Clinton.
Along the way, he’s mastered his own money — the premiere performance coach and author of “MONEY: Master The Game” went from a cash-strapped upbringing to an estimated net worth of $440 million.
In a recent episode of Lewis Howes’ podcast, “The School of Greatness,” Robbins shared a fundamental lesson he’s learned from coaching the wealthiest of the wealthy: “Who you spend time with is who you become,” he told Howes.
There’s a reason the wealthiest, most successful people tend to hang out with other wealthy, successful people.
As T. Harv Eker explains in his book, “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind,” “Successful people look at other successful people as a means to motivate themselves. They see other successful people as models to learn from. They say to themselves, ‘If they can do it, I can do it.'”
Associating with ambitious and driven individuals is also the key to staying hungry, even in the face of success, Robbins told Howes: “When I started coaching all these billionaires, there was a part of me that said, ‘I’m as smart in certain areas as they are. I’ve got to step my game up … Get around where it’s better and things will hit you.”
After interviewing more than 1,200 of the world’s wealthiest people and becoming a self-made millionaire himself, author Steve Siebold came to a similar conclusion as Robbins: “Exposure to people who are more successful than you are has the potential to expand your thinking and catapult your income … The reality is, millionaires think differently from the middle class about money, and there’s much to be gained by being in their presence.”
While often overlooked — or dismissed as elitist — your friendships could have a major impact on your financial success, and befriending wealthy people could even help you get rich. That’s not to say you should ditch your average-income friends or screen new acquaintances by net worth, but you might want to take into consideration what you can learn from the friends you have and the friends you make.
As Siebold explains, “In most cases, your net worth mirrors the level of your closest friends … We become like the people we associate with, and that’s why winners are attracted to winners.”
SEE ALSO: Here’s what Warren Buffett said when Tony Robbins asked him how he got so rich
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Applying to work for a Wall Street bank can be nerve-wracking.
You know you’re up against thousands of other people, and you want to highlight your accomplishments to look as qualified as possible.
But what if you don’t have enough experience in the industry?
JPMorgan’s head firmwide campus recruiting, Michelle Bucaria, told Business Insider that having previous finance experience is not necessarily the most important thing on your résumé — it’s all about how you frame the experiences you have had.
So maybe you haven’t interned in finance before, but you have a part-time job. That shows you have the ability to multitask.
“When I look at a résumé and I say, ‘Gosh, they were working, frankly, in the dining hall while they were getting a 3.5 GPA’ — that’s pretty impressive,” Bucaria said.
She also likes to see involvement in campus clubs and activities.
“The ones that are in officer type roles are going to stand out versus someone who’s a member of a club,” Bucaria said.
“But if you can come across and say, ‘I wasn’t the president, I wasn’t the secretary, however, here was the project that I led, ran, and created this amazing community service activity that had 100 students involved’ — that’s pretty darn impressive.”
They key is not what job you’ve held but what you took away from your work, and the impact you had.
“Try to think about how what you’re doing is transferable to what we would look for,” Bucaria said. “So let’s assume you’re working in a store somewhere: what is the involvement in the profit/loss, buy/sell — that kind of thing?”
In interviews, Bucaria often asks what impact students had on their work, whatever it may be. She also likes to ask students to walk her through how they did the things they’ve highlighted on the résumé, and how they would think about doing them differently the next time.
“I don’t think there is a set, core résumé that every student should aspire to,” Bucaria said. “It’s just: be involved, be active, demonstrate leadership, demonstrate teamwork.”
That, and focus on your schoolwork. There’s no substitute for good grades!
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Chelsea Handler is wildly successful.
In 2006, at age 31, the New Jersey native got her own talk show on the E! network; she’s authored five New York Times bestsellers; she has landed spots on Forbes’ Celebrity 100 and Power Women lists, and was named one of Time’s Most Influential People in 2012.
Most recently, the millionaire comedian and actress explored racism, drugs, marriage, and Silicon Valley in the four-part Netflix docuseries “Chelsea Does.”
How did she accomplish all this — and more — by age 40?
She showed up … for almost everything.
In a recent post for LinkedIn‘s latest editorial package, “How I Launched My Career,” Handler, now 41, says she learned the importance of showing up while waitressing in her early 20s.
“I was never the best waitress, but I was always the person people called when they needed a shift covered because I would always say yes,” she writes.
“Whether that was a result of wanting to be liked from years of rejection in high school, or whether it was wanting to be dependable and reliable after years of being the opposite, I just wanted people to feel that they could count on me,” she says in her LinkedIn post, titled “I Used to Hate Doing Stand Up. Then I Discovered the Power of Showing Up.” “I didn’t want to work the extra shifts, [but it] gave me a sense of worth and reliability.”
Later in life, she says her habit for dependability bled into her stand-up career. “I kept showing up. When there were only two people in the audience … I showed up and did ten minutes of material.”
She’d also show up to “open mic nights” at coffee houses, which she “absolutely dreaded.” “I hated doing stand-up in the beginning. I couldn’t wait for a set to be canceled because no one showed, but after getting cold feet many times, I made an agreement with myself that I would show up, get up, and do my set, no matter what the circumstance,” she writes.
Once Handler showed up enough times, it became her reality, she says. “It was no longer an option to not show up. I now practice ‘showing up’ with everything I do. It has permeated every facet of my life. Whether it’s wanting to cancel a workout, a friend’s party, a public appearance, my family in New Jersey. Whatever it is, when I commit, I show up.”
And if she really can’t show up for something, she’s honest about it. “I don’t over-explain with an excuse that I’m sick or that my children are sick … because I’m not sick and I don’t have children, and all of those excuses are transparent, and you become unreliable,” she writes.
She says over the years she’s learned to be selective about what she commits to showing up to.
“I spent the first ten years of my career saying yes to absolutely everything and then harboring resentment for having said yes in the first place,” she writes. Now she focuses on showing up “for the people in my life who deserve my loyalty” — her friends, family, and mentors.
“Showing up shows great character,” she concludes. “And once you master the art of physically showing up, the art of mentally showing up usually takes care of itself.”
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It’s common wisdom that most modern workplaces rely on teamwork, but some teams are simply better than others.
In recent years, Google set out to build the “perfect team,” as Charles Duhigg writes in The New York Times Magazine this weekend.
The tech behemoth launched a venture in 2012 called Project Aristotle, which gathered data by analyzing many studies and actually observing the way people interacted in a group, according to The New York Times.
Down the line Project Aristotle landed on the most fundamental component that ultimately makes a team successful: psychological safety.
Psychological safety enables employees to be comfortable opening up to their colleagues and taking risks.
The New York Times points to a study written by Amy Edmondson in 1999 which discusses the term. She writes that it’s a “shared belief held by members of a team that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking.” Additionally, it’s “a sense of confidence that the team will not embarrass, reject or punish someone for speaking up.”
In other words, that could mean feeling comfortable telling your boss that someone in your family is sick, or revealing what’s truly bugging you outside — and inside — of the office.
The Times points to an example of one mid-level manager who confided in his employees that he had Stage 4 cancer. The team — which originally didn’t work particularly well together — then continued to open up to each other about their own personal issues, and ultimately felt more comfortable discussing a survey about how the team worked together.
From The Times:
What Project Aristotle has taught people within Google is that no one wants to put on a ‘‘work face’’ when they get to the office. No one wants to leave part of their personality and inner life at home. But to be fully present at work, to feel ‘‘psychologically safe,’’ we must know that we can be free enough, sometimes, to share the things that scare us without fear of recriminations. We must be able to talk about what is messy or sad, to have hard conversations with colleagues who are driving us crazy. We can’t be focused just on efficiency.
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Some people are naturally more charismatic than others.
Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, and Martin Luther King, Jr. had the ability to captivate and inspire their audiences the way few other leaders could.
Yet Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy says there’s a personality trait that’s just as important as charisma — and it’s considerably easier to develop.
That trait is what she calls “presence,” and it’s the subject of her new book by the same name. “Presence,” as Cuddy defines it, is about being attuned to and able to express your full potential — whether in an important presentation or a conversation with your boss.
During a recent talk at the 92Y in New York City, Cuddy explained the difference between charisma and presence, and why presence isn’t something that only certain people are born with:
Charisma seems to be more about the intoxicating quality that you have on other people, as opposed to presence, which is more about the self in relation to others, and how you feel you represented yourself in a situation, and how you were able to engage. So it’s less about how others see you and more about how you see yourself.
Cuddy writes that one way to become present is through “power posing,” in which you adopt the body language of powerful people so that you feel and act more confident. (Ideally, you’d do this in private, for example a few minutes before you head into a job interview.)
You can also practice self-affirmation, in which you write down your core values and why they’re meaningful to you. Hopefully, both these exercises will help you feel more confident in challenging situations.
On the other hand, psychologists who study charisma say it’s largely about behaviors like showing more expression in your face and using words that people can relate to.
Ultimately, both charisma and presence have a similar end result: making a positive impression on other people.
“I want people to be able to influence themselves,” Cuddy said. “We convince ourselves, and that allows us to convince others.”
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